I know I haven’t written anything since the first day; however, I can give you a list of reasons why. No, I didn’t have writer’s block. I seriously don’t have a problem with thinking up things. Trust me, I am AdHd and my mind never shuts down. I simply had to fall on the floor for a few days and regroup. Okay, maybe there was no falling, but I felt like I was on the floor. After I began this blog and posted my first few entries, I went on vacation. I am not one to take “vacations” but I thought it was important to breathe a bit. So I was breathing. I hope you are as well. The only issue with vacations is typically they are a lot of work, between planning, packing, vacationing, returning home, and unpacking. I’m sure you can see why I felt I crashed on the floor.
When I returned back, I had to get into action with another project. A friend of mine suggested that I do a vlog of the trip. Well actually, I think she just wanted me to vlog in general. Nonetheless, I took the plunge. It certainly is different from anything I’ve ever done before, but I am the type of person who likes to test the waters and learn new things along the way. I am hoping that this vlogging and this blogging can help people to find God or get closer with God, and also be entertained and helped in some manner along the journey through technological things that end in “log.” If I take myself back to when I was a teenager, seeing all the exciting Internet capabilities, I still cannot fathom how we got from that time period to where we are now. I also cannot believe that I’m doing all this extra stuff considering I’m in school.
In regard to my vacation, it was a short trip to the beach. I have been to the shore on many occasions; however, this was the first time I was at this particular area. I will tell you I had to drive over three hours and it was a long trip– even longer on the way up because we traveled through a few storms. I have to admit that I was not afraid during the storms, but I was afraid when we got to this bridge. I have a fear of heights. It is always hard when we have to face our fears, whatever they may be in life. My favorite verse, as I’m sure anyone can tell, is Isaiah 41:10. That verse says to “fear not” and yet when I was crossing that bridge, I was very scared.
When we look at our “bridge” in life, we need to actually look at it with focused eyes. We each have our own “bridges.” Before I went back home, knowing I had to go over the bridge again, I wanted to be prepared. Lets just say on the way over the first time, my heart was racing. I was near a panic attack type situation, and I didn’t want that to happen the second time around. Sometimes your heart can only handle so much craziness. Therefore, I wanted to prepare for my “bridge.”
First, I took a look at the bridge. It was high up. That was my problem. It was surrounded by water, which also is scary. Then I looked at what could happen. The bridge could collapse. It was highly unlikely because it is a sturdy bridge with thousands of travelers each day, but it could happen. What then? Well I’d probably have the car fall into the water. There’s the possibility that part of the bridge could fall upon the car as it plummeted into the water. Or maybe in the tight quarters, rather than the bridge falling down, as the infamous song states, maybe there could have been an accident. That would have been devastating and at the speeds some cars were traveling, there could have been fatal injuries.
Those are some items that popped into my mind when I was thinking about this “bridge” of mine, which is actually a real bridge. Everyone has their own “bridges” as well. When I look over these items, it’s clear that I put too much stock in my earthly, temporal life. These things happen and then I die. Isn’t that awesome? I mean, then I get to go with the Father. No more pain. No more hardships. Isn’t that what we all want?
Then I think about why I actually was afraid. Why? Well before I left to go on the trip, I thought of the pain I would experience. With Rheumatoid Arthritis, it hurts to drive five miles; this was a much longer trip. This doubt and worry had a domino effect. Not putting everything into God’s hands caused the worry to grow. There I was going to the bridge and I was already worried. Satan can do this to us all, telling us we are not good enough, to watch out or this will happen, and so much more. Sometimes we need to pause and take a moment to see the Truth.
The truth is God is ALWAYS with us. The truth is God NEVER abandons His children. The truth is God doesn’t want us to suffer or to worry. The truth is NOTHING can take us out from under the loving arms of God. So why is it that we worry? Why is it that we let Satan step in between? All I can say is that we are not always 100% on guard for these attacks from Satan. We are not always at our 100% in life. We miss sleep. We miss meals. We get busy and don’t spend enough time doing things that we need to do most. Satan slips through the tiniest of cracks.
It’s all okay though, because God can protect us. Jesus defeated Satan and we have nothing to fear. We just need to listen more to the Truth. We need to focus in the right direction. And that’s what I did the second time I traveled over the bridge. See, the bridge didn’t change from when I went over it the first time, to the second trip where I returned. The bridge was always the same. We cannot expect God to change every “bridge” for us. We need to learn how to get around each “bridge.” God helps us, but we can’t expect to be spoon fed all the time.
I conquered that bridge. I was victorious only because God was there guiding me over the bridge. It was His comfort and His love that got me over the bridge with no screaming or near panic attacks. God can get you over your “bridges” as well. Focus on the “bridge” and ask God. He will help you every time– it’s only necessary to bring it to Him in faith. I still have more “bridges.” We all do. But God’s ready to help us conquer each one.
Tania Gutekunst 